Bus Routes In Greater Manchester
350: Oldham to Ashton-under-Lyne
If, like me, you think Cod in a Trap would make a tremendous name for a mobile chippy, but it’d be even better if an Elvis impersonator ran it, well, buckle up…
If, like me, you think Cod in a Trap would make a tremendous name for a mobile chippy, but it’d be even better if an Elvis impersonator ran it, well, buckle up…
Candidates need two miraculous events to qualify for sainthood, which is quite the KPI to meet for the average nun or parish priest.
One of the old ladies has an incredible polyphonic voice. Squeaky yet gruff, she’s part way between Betty Boop and Phyllis from Coronation Street.
I’ve never seen anybody in Bolton smile. I must’ve been here at least a dozen times and have come across shoppers grumbling at the foot of the Fred Dibnah statue, a set-to outside Wilkos, and most chillingly of all, a pair of little girls skipping down the street with angry scowls on their faces.
Judging by the spade the giant has sticking out of a canvas bag, he’s either on his way to an allotment or to bury a body. Possibly even to bury a body on an allotment. I hear they’re good for the soil.
Happy to be out of the rain, but with my glasses fully steamed up, it takes a few seconds to suss out that we’ve accidentally gate-crashed a funeral.
“Here you go,” Pat says, pointing to a clump of dots on his camera’s viewfinder, “I’m pretty sure that’s the top of Muhammad Ali’s head there. I waited hours for that and he’s pixelated to buggery.”
We pass a cafe called The Scotch Egg, which must have the most magnificent sign in the entire SK postcode. The ‘o’ in ‘Scotch’ is a cartoon of a scotch egg dressed in a kilt and tam o’shanter, while the wayward nature of its eggy limbs suggests it is mid-Highland Fling.
From a polar bear bench pressing a giant key in Norilsk, the magnificent minimalism of Magnitogorsk’s black triangle, and the bag of wriggling puppies being drowned in a sack on Petropavlovsk-Kamchatsky’s standard, Russia has an instinctive understanding of how to best represent yourself on a flag.