Bus Routes In Cheshire
11A: Stockport to Altrincham
One of the old ladies has an incredible polyphonic voice. Squeaky yet gruff, she’s part way between Betty Boop and Phyllis from Coronation Street.
One of the old ladies has an incredible polyphonic voice. Squeaky yet gruff, she’s part way between Betty Boop and Phyllis from Coronation Street.
Slower Travel returns with a tense race to El’s auntie’s pub in Padfield. Who’ll win, though: the train or the 393?
A fortnight after our visit, she finds a man staggering in the beer garden at 3am with a cardboard box on his head. ‘He didn’t even cut eye holes in it,’ she told the local paper. ‘I was howling.’
It’s a deconstructed, flatpack breakfast on a rectangular plate. All the ingredients are there, just not together. What a calamity.
Bagpipes are an incredible invention. I’d never think in a million years to gut a sheep, attach pipes to the holes where its neck and legs once were, and squeeze out a tune.
I don’t care what happens to my remains, but I promise to do everything in my spectral powers to haunt anyone who puts me in an Irn-Bru coffin.
Nana Meg’s joy turned to contempt when she realised her telegram from the Queen was instead from Iain Duncan Smith, and spent the rest of her big day getting razzed on brandy.
She wears false eyelashes which would frighten a tarantula, and a t-shirt with the slogan ‘Too Glam to Give a Damn’ across the bust. Her seething response when the driver dares to beep a warning suggests that, if anything, she somehow needs to become more glam.
Nobody swears like a Scouser, and for the next half an hour, the girls treat us to an f-word masterclass, with crackling white noise lobbed out whenever they broach a letter ‘k’.
Spike Island hasn’t hosted another gig since, but a 30th anniversary show will happen in May, headlined by The Clone Roses. A host of other Manchester tribute acts are opening up, playing other people’s tunes to middle-aged men in bucket hats.