Each member’s socks have crumpled into a heap by their ankles, the elastic presumably giving up somewhere around the fifth pint. Their dancing is just as ragtag, but they’re having a great time while dodging the huffy looks from those who do actually know what they’re doing. Those people are wearing flowery hats, though.
I’ve never seen anybody in Bolton smile. I must’ve been here at least a dozen times and have come across shoppers grumbling at the foot of the Fred Dibnah statue, a set-to outside Wilkos, and most chillingly of all, a pair of little girls skipping down the street with angry scowls on their faces.
Happy to be out of the rain, but with my glasses fully steamed up, it takes a few seconds to suss out that we’ve accidentally gate-crashed a funeral.
Understandably, he said that he “felt physically sick” when he saw the crossbow bolt sticking out of the astroturf, although he’d have doubtless felt worse if fate had sent it a few inches the other way.
There don’t appear to be any more interchanges in the UK which are named after infectious viral diseases, so we’re cruelly denied a Runcorn Rubella or Malmesbury Manflu. More’s the pity…
Of all the days we could’ve stumbled across The Golden Lion, we’ve somehow found it on the day that Jarvis Cocker is playing a DJ set upstairs, and Andy Votel is doing a pub quiz…
A man reclines in a low-ride push bike, which looks like a malevolent home brew experiment to cross-pollinate a Raleigh Chopper with a Harley Davidson…
This is where the 66 and 67 buses diverge, the latter heading through a place called Roughlee, which I’m glad we avoid because I had my collar bone broken by a lad called Lee. He was a bit too rough…
We’re greeted at the bottom of the main road into Great Harwood by a trio of ponies. As soon as they see the bus approaching suddenly cease all movement, as though they’re playing musical statues. Another horse a few yards away sees what’s going on and instantly spins around to stare at a tree.
Chips shops are in my blood. Cut me open and alongside plasma, platelets and whatnot, you’ll find a load of deep fried comestibles…