Bus Routes In Greater Manchester
350: Oldham to Ashton-under-Lyne
If, like me, you think Cod in a Trap would make a tremendous name for a mobile chippy, but it’d be even better if an Elvis impersonator ran it, well, buckle up…
Bus Routes in Wales
X29: Tywyn to Machynlleth
The only local we encounter is the waitress in a cafe on Tywyn’s main drag. She’s so well-spoken that my apple crumble curtseys as she places it down.
Bus Routes in Wales
T12: Machynlleth to Welshpool
Every time Luke pronounces the name of a Welsh town, a Cymraeg-speaking fairy dies.
Bus Routes In Cheshire
41: Chester to Whitchurch
He alternates between sniffing up and blowing out of one of his nostrils with enough force to snuff out the candles on an octogenarian’s birthday cake.
Bus Routes In Cheshire
9A: Warrington to Northwich
We’re welcomed in by the crackling force of an industrial boiling water tap that only old-skool cafes, or a million scousers simultaneously saying ‘Burt Bacharach’, can replicate.
Bus Routes In Cheshire
Cat5: Altrincham to Warrington
Candidates need two miraculous events to qualify for sainthood, which is quite the KPI to meet for the average nun or parish priest.
Bus Routes In Cheshire
11A: Stockport to Altrincham
One of the old ladies has an incredible polyphonic voice. Squeaky yet gruff, she’s part way between Betty Boop and Phyllis from Coronation Street.
Bus Routes In Derbyshire
393: Glossop to Padfield
Slower Travel returns with a tense race to El’s auntie’s pub in Padfield. Who’ll win, though: the train or the 393?
Bus Routes in North Yorkshire
X4: Middlesbrough to Whitby
A fortnight after our visit, she finds a man staggering in the beer garden at 3am with a cardboard box on his head. ‘He didn’t even cut eye holes in it,’ she told the local paper. ‘I was howling.’
Bus Routes in Co Durham
X12: Newcastle to Middlesbrough
It’s a deconstructed, flatpack breakfast on a rectangular plate. All the ingredients are there, just not together. What a calamity.